Fast Car

Obviously my car does not like driving as much as I do. Friday it decided to just, oh, not start for several hours. My car was nice enough to let me drive to the gas station on the way to work so that I could receive the caffine required to put up with it's shennanigans for the rest of the day. But then it wouldn't start to get me to work. Wait twenty minutes; still won't start. Call a coworker for a ride, come back before lunch; STILL won't start. I had it towed to the shop and then it graciously decided to wake up and start.* It's been starting ever since. Tricky.

So it was not a pretty day. I felt ugly and I reacted ugly. Still... (hellooo Emery), the music seemed to continue to follow me. Tiny Dancer on the radio at the end of the day, and while waiting (for ever and ever) for a work contact, Tracy Chapman's Fast Car on in the lobby. Amazing. When that song was over I gave up on the work contact and went home.

Many great and wonderous emotions poured through me (but not on my face, jeez, a girl can't change overnight) during this trial at the end of a very long, trying week. Their story will have to wait another day to be told, as it is wrapped up in it's own story and will require a separate post.

Otherwise this weekend was phenomenal. Satuday was spent in a heady combination of getting to know a new friend better, hours on my own in a bookstore, and girl's night in with old friends. Holly and Sam, you lifted my spirits more than you know. Thanks. Sunday was spent with churchy people and an evening of service. I literally spent all day (9am-11pm) with one or more of my big kids. It was pretty rad, yo.

More to come this weekend with Sarah and Jill and Naph coming to town! I feel like I won the lottery!


*For which I am very greatful as funds for repairs would not be so easy to find at the moment.

let it be / let the music find me

I love taking a drive late at night.  That alert, heightened sense of awareness that overpowers any tired in me.  The radio stuck on whatever station my finger paused over when I lost interest in the music.  Distracted, perhaps, by the city lights spread out before me.  My thoughts wander in and out with no desire to settle on any one thing.  Clear but carefree.  As I head home I can barely hear the strains of Let it Be beginning, so the knob is turned clockwise and the words start coming out.  When the electric guitar enters I'm beginning to grin.  The person in the car next to me, what are they pondering while this city sleeps?  And while I so crazily gesture, opera-like, at the neon lights?  I pull in to park just as the song ends-  daa-dadadaa-dada-daa--daa---daa.  Perfection.

shine on 'til tomorrow, let it be.

ODE

seventy degrees
slight breeze
hike beyond the trees
puts me at ease.

I crack myself up. Seriously though, a morning hike up a giant cliff followed by stretching and photographing fence posts? Totally my peaceful cup o' tea, especially conisdering the silence and solitute that is found with such activities. Saturday was lovely.

O What a Beautiful Morning

So far this morning, I have:

lain awake for THREE hours listening to our landlord's dog bark. Not sure how the landlord slept through it or how the dog managed to bark so long without even stopping to take a drink of water.

realized I never did call my best friend on her birthday at the end of the day yesterday like I'd planned.

hit my head (hard) on the shower faucet.

hit my head on my car door as I was getting out of it, effectively knocking the sunglasses off my face.

been hit on by a so-smooth old guy in a maroon camero. eeeewww.

tracked mud on my bathroom floor from the boots I put on for work.


lookin' forward to the rest of it. if Carrie Underwood sings "Get Out of This Town" and Little Big Town sings "Lost", it will more than make up for the crappy beginning.

Gifts

When I was 6, a boy threw a pencil at me. Probly 'cause I threw one at him first.


When I was 13, a boy got down on one knee and sang to me.


When I was 14, a boy sang "Baby Blue" in a school concert, for me. He found out later my eyes are more green than blue.


When I was 15, a boy peed my name in the snow.


When I was 16, a boy bought me flowers.


When I was 17, a man rubbed my feet.


When I was 21, a man stared at me like he was viewing for the first time something other, and worthy of contemplation. Woman.

When I was 23, a man wrapped music in a crossword puzzle and left it in my car.

When I was 24, a man bought me peanutbuttery chocolates.

Last week, a man bought me a tank of gas.*

It's the small (and apparantly strange) gifts that get to me. Intentional. Just because. To start things off well. For the end. Any of those will work. It doesn't have to be perfect, cost money, or be exactly what I need. Because sometimes I don't even know exactly what I need.

*thanks Dad.

Daily

Thoughts from the last few days -

Maybe I should make someone go into Sephora for me so ALL I buy is my Bare Minerals Foundation. Or I could order online, but I want the bag.

Ow. Mom. A paintball just exploded on my cheek.

Where have all the cowboys gone? Where have I gone?

Buying a 2liter of Diet Pepsi is cheaper than buying two big 1liter bottles. And I'll drink it before it unfizzes anyway.

I will not compete with a high schooler. I will not compete with a high schooler.

Having a coldsore wants me to explode into profanity like pretty much nothing else in the world.

It's weird that I'm so stuck on Jars of Clay, of all bands, right now. The last time this happened I was pretty unhappy, in like jr high. Crap.

A big male shoulder would be really nice right now.

clothing

My new grown-up clothing rules:

do not wear clothes you silently think are funny. Except in a Saturday t-shirt capacity.

pick a couple colors and stick with them, since you can’t seem to buy outfits.

don’t buy skirts. You don’t wear them.

shoes are important. make sure you have shoes to match, or money to buy them, before buying the new clothes.

between moving, being sick, and all the other daily-ness of my life, this is about all the thinking I've been able to do over the past couple weeks. That's all for now, folks.